If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
