i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
