girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
