We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
