I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
