there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she woke up with a sticky ear
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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