I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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