This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
