We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
