I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
