well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
