I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize