Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
