I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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