His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
