So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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