I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
