guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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