I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
