Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
