yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
