just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Pants are for mortals
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
