K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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