Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
