Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
