It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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