I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
