All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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