I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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