Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize