I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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