Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
