He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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