I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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