ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Randomize
