i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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