umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
