no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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