you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
