I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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