Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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