there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
