billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize