lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize