YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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