this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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