hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
