after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
