i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
