question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
