Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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