I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
