why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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