Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
