I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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