Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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