so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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