so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
