Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
