covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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