Nicole vs. Life
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
