R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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