Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize