i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
