is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
