**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
