Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
40s are totally the cure
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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