I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
