I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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