ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
