i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
