hotel room ftw
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
